Stupid Ezio

I had a dream last night that I was Ezio. Don't want to get into the specifics because I just woke up and I want to draw, but I was basically a really stupid Ezio.

I was asked to find the Eagle galaxy in the night sky so the rest of the assassins may pass through a great wall to escape the oncoming brigade of guards, but all I did was point out whales and puppys and birds. And Pocahontas.

We were running into war to fight the Templars for control over the village, but I spent the entire battle tickling Leonardo up on a hill. (But oh my gosh, Leo was so much fun to tickle. :'3)

I spent quite a while swimming in a hot tub rather than looking out for the Grand Master Templar (who looked a lot like the devil). And after swimming and wiping the water out of my eyes, I found the Grand Master Templar had been standing behind me and my colleagues the whole time.

And then there was this conversation as he grabbed my head and lifted me out of the pool:

GMT: "What's your name, filth?"

ME: "E-ezio?"

GMT: "Eeezzzioooo... *Spit* I hate that name."

ME: "I-I could be Paul, if you want."

GMT: "What? No!"

ME: "Ooh! Ooh! I could be JAMES!"

GMT: "What!?"

ME: "Or Johnny, or Stanley, or Patrick, or Sanders, or Andrew, or Bob..."

GMT: "You name dosen't matter any more! What matters is that I'm Team Templar, and you're an Assassin..."

ME: "Actually, I'm Team Ubisoft!"

GMT: "Ubiso- what the fuck are you talking about!?"

ME: "Ubisoft designed this game, so I'm Team Ubisoft!"

GMT: "FUUUUUCCCCKKK-"

There was then an epic battle up in this sort of tea house thing above the pool, and I used the karate moves I learned yesterday to destroy all the bridges to trap the GMT in the house. Although then I pretended to choke myself in some vines. The guy thought I was dead. And then I threw paint on him. He disappeared.

There was also a time that I had a banana phone. (Thank you very much, )

And I even accused an old lady of being the devil.

Then the rest of the dream was me in English class. Because Ezio spoke Italian.

Did I mention I lost thirty bucks worth of money because I brought my wallet into the Animus and ended up bribing half the people?